Visually Bernd is already a lucid kind of person. Just a tin loaf with tooooo short arms and tiny bread feet. Loud happiness is absolutely not his best interest. What he likes: the silence of his soundproof room, the constancy of his ingrain wallpaper, his collection of TV test cards - just everything without any surprises. His favourite word: Crap! Bernd absolutely knows with years of experience: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. However he never gets desperate but he always tries to straight out the chaos and thereby he developes a proper portion of self irony.

After a long while of shilly-shally and solicitation we recieved a very private profile by Bernd.

Never before he has been so ruthlessly honest and clear as here...

Name:	Bernd the Bread
Nickname:	„Berndi!“ - ugh!
Adresse:	Please don‘t ever visit me!
Telephone:	Too knobbly fingers to dial.
Mobile:	Too short arms to hold a mobile phone.
Birthday:	I was baked, not born.
Zodiac Sign:	Misadventurer
Hair colour:	Ha ha ha, how madly funny!
Eye colour:	Afflicted

 

Heighth:	Tinloafly
Trademarks:	Just follow the explosions and you‘ll see.
My school:	School of life.
My favourite teacher:	Everyone who cautioned me against sheep and bushes.
My favourite subject:	Boxing for breads (haha. Just kidding)
My favourite experiment:	Yeehah! To escape from the sheep and the bush in new and freakish disguises. Never succeeded with that so far. Crap!
My hobbies:	To stare at the ingrain wallpaper at home.
My favourite colours:	Grey, Black, ugly White.
My favourite food:	Flour soup, and NO! No escalope with cream sauce and french fries!

My most hot stunt:	I hate each of them in the same way. They‘re loud, they make sounds like „Bumm“ and at the end a bread flies through the air. So where is the difference?
My favourite star:	The creator of „The most boring German railway tracks“ (at least what the cover says)
My favourite song:	„My arms are way too short“ (performed by Bernd the Bread)
What I don‘t like at all:	The sheep and the bush and the sheep and the bush, the bush and the sheep, sheep and bush, bush and sheep, bush, sheep... Wait a second, have I forgotten something? Oh yeah: Sheep and bush!
My most embarrasing thing done:	Making this profile.
That is how we met:	I‘ve never met you and I don‘t want to meet you ever. But at least you know me from all those thousands of explosions of this insanity others call tv show.
I wish you:	Crap!